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Small Talk
There are so many situations where we engage in small talk ? work, school, a party, a bank, a hair salon, a bus tour, etc. Before your next interaction with someone, think of a few questions you might ask in the course of your upcoming conversation with a classmate, co-worker, friend, people at a party, or some person in line at the grocery store.
Good conversation starters are the following statements and questions:
- What a beautiful day! What would you do right now if you weren’t at work?
- This is a wonderful restaurant. What is your favorite restaurant? Why?
- What a great class! What other classes do you take?
- I was absent last week. What did I miss?
- These cookies are delicious, aren’t they? Do you bake?
- You are in such great shape. What fitness classes do you take? Where?
- You look happy? What’s the reason for your good mood?
Another good conversation starter can be commenting on something unique about a person’s book, clothes, or home or office decorations:
- What an interesting statue! Tell me more about it.
- What is this place in the picture? Were you on vacation in Rome?
The following questions are possible for general situations - general icebreakers:
- What do you think of this movie/restaurant/party?
- Tell me about your favorite trip.
- What do you like to do on weekends?
- What do you remember the most from your childhood?
- What family traditions do you enjoy the most?
- What’s your favorite restaurant/dish/hobby/holiday? Why?
But just like any new skill, you need to practice your conversation skills often and in real life. Try to start a conversation with two new people each day. Or be the one who asks questions or fills a pause at a meeting. Others will be thankful to you for “saving” the situation as we often fear to be the first to speak.
Moreover, people often greet us with a question: How are you? How was your weekend? How was your summer? Oftentimes, the reply is: “Good” or “Fine.” Ask more questions; otherwise, the person isn’t convinced you are genuinely showing interest in him or her. Expand your questions. For instance, ask: “What did you do there?” or “Tell me more about it.”
Special note on names:
Speaking of initiating a conversation, the best way to engage with a new person is to ask this simple question: “What is your name?” And really try to remember that person’s name. But if you forgot it, which happens to all of us, don’t go through the entire conversation pretending you know the person’s name. Instead, be honest and ask their name again: ”I really want to remember your name. Can you please remind me?” Or “I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten your name. Please remind me.” When you take the time to remember the person’s name, you show sincere interest in that person.
Summary of tips for small talk:
- Prepare questions ahead of time.
- Make eye contact.
- Smile.
- Find that approachable/friendly-looking person (at a social gathering).
- Offer your name and use theirs.
- Pay attention to your body language (avoid gestures that show boredom).
- Be observant and creative with your questions and comments.
- Be an excellent listener. Acknowledge that you are listening by nodding or reiterating some words you hear, or asking clarifying questions. In other words, be engaging.
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スタッフ記事 ＜コロナと留学生受け入れ＞ IGE 平田幸司
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