Saying "no" to an invitation can be a sensitive matter. Subtle cultural differences can make important differences in understanding. Understanding these tiny differences adds to your "cultural fluency." If you want to tell someone who invites you to have coffee, to join them at a meeting, or to participate in an event that you cannot do or do not want to do, what is the most polite way to respond "American-style"? When communicating with people from different cultural backgrounds, there can be different cultural expectations. Lisa Leopold of the Middlebury Institute of International Studies recently discovered differences between how people of different cultures say "no" to an invitation.
One interesting finding was that native American English speakers tend to be more direct than Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese speakers. Direct speech in refusing an invitation might be: "No." "I can’t." "I won't be able to." Whereas examples of indirect statements are "I'm so sorry." "I have other plans." "If you had asked me earlier, I would have..." "I won't be any fun tonight." "I need to think about it."
The other interesting finding is that Americans tend to provide more reasons for why they are declining the invitation. For example, Americans might decline an invitation this way: "I'm really sorry I cannot go to dinner with you on Friday. I have to study for my history exam. Sorry." On the other hand, a less specific response could read: "I'm sorry I will not be able to come to dinner on Friday because of urgent business." Notice that in the first example the speaker gives a specific reason why they cannot come to dinner -- they have to study for their history exam. The other example "because of urgent business" is much less specific.
The take-away from Professor Leopold's study on declining an invitation is two-fold: Japanese tend to be less direct and more polite, and Americans tend to give more specific reasons for declining the invitation. I suggest being polite and giving specific reasons when declining an invitation. In this way, you can be your polite self and show cultural fluency at the same time.
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